All In My Head
by Elijah Blackwood
Summary: It was another day after the war between Motorcity and Kane. Motorcity won. Deluxe was destroyed, along with those who did not and could not escape to Motorcity. All that's left of the rebellion is Chuck and Mike. Mike was drunk again, but something was off about him. But what? Mike X Chuck
1. Just A Game

_It was just a game_, Chuck told himself, his teeth chattering.

_Just a game_.

"Then why are you so nervous?" Mike asked, nudging me.

_Crap_.

I said that out loud.

_Dang it!_

"Uh, 'cause, have you looked around?" I muttered.

We were surrounded by drunk racers.

_Not a good thing._

_Warning: never get near a stupored Mike. _

He becomes a clingy monkey.

It's bad because Mike's pupils dilate.

_Crap._

I help him stand straight and lead him to the car.

He sways but manages to get in the passenger seat with no consequence.

_Good._

I get behind the wheel and slowly, more like _**haphazardly**__,_ drive to my apartment.

When we get there I lay him on my couch.

It's a baby-barf green one with multicolored patches.

_Comfy little bastard._

_The couch- not him._

_Not like he isn't-_

_Oh, nevermind!_

I didn't mind doing this.

He always got back into drinking when he remembers everyone.

We only survived because Mike saved my ass.

_As always. _

I got a beer out of my fridge and take a swig.

"Loser." I mutter, watching him.

He's fallen asleep.

_He does that too. _

I finish the beer in another gulp and lay next to him, our noses touching.

I breathe out, "Idiot.", falling asleep.


	2. Getting Up

I woke up and noticed Mike moaning painfully in his sleep.  
_Serves him right, jackass._  
I put my head in my hands.  
Just one beer sets me off to pass out, drunk.  
Now, Mike, on the other hand; it takes him 8 beers to even slur his words.  
_Lucky._  
Getting up carefully, I take off my shirt as I go in the small kitchen.  
And throw the shirt in the green washer.  
Motorcity is in a position where we had a time-lapse of taste.  
Everyone reverted to the 1990's era.  
Which, as far as I've heard from the music, is pure badassary. *  
Technology and all, I managed to stash some of my 'state-of-the-art' ones from before.  
Only for "emergency" use.  
Many people who live here forgotten about the Burners.  
I shake the thought away and crawl onto my kitchen counter.  
I stand up, my head touching the ceiling, and grab a dusty book.  
Hugging it close to my chest, I sit on my haunches.  
I check to see if Mike is still asleep, he is.  
_Obviously._  
I then sit with my back across from the arch, opening to the living room.  
My legs dangled off the side, I set the leather book in my lap and stare at it.  
I run my fingertips across the black cover affectionately.  
I feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes.  
The leather, worn and tattered, feels like human skin under my fingers.  
_Cold and lifeless._  
I feel bile rise in my throat as I open it to the middle.  
The obituary clippings.


	3. Forgotten

Right when I feel a tear slip down my cheek, I feel arms wrap around my waist.

_Mike._

He set his chin on my shoulder, breathing softly.

His breath reeked of beer, but I could still smell his cologne faintly.

I read the obituaries to myself.

He was probably too buzzed to read over my shoulder.

More tears fell and I could feel Mike's thumb wipe them away.

I closed the book and set it aside, pulling my knees to my chest.

Mike walked around the counter to look in my eyes.

He wiped another tear from my cheek, smiling softly at me.

"You shouldn't cry, Chuckles, it doesn't suit you."

I wanted to be angry, I** hated** that nickname.

But only Mike calls me that, and even then, it's rare.

_Especially after the Burners burned._

He leaned his forehead against mine.

He did this when we were kids.

He called it "The Bond" because it was as if we could read each other's minds that way.

I looked in his eyes and they weren't dilated as much as before.

_Meaning, he's sobering up._

I looked back over at the book.

_The Burners..._

**XxXxFlashbackXxXx**

I had been dating Julie's friend for a week.

I was going to break up with her,_ she was a bitch._

_Just like Julie._

Mike had dated her a few days and she'd already started using him.

_Big surprise._

I felt my stomach cringe whenever we locked eyes.

_We shared the same look of discomfort._

_We shared this same look at the funeral._

_And this look when we could only stand and watch them die._

"What's going on, Mike?" Julie yelled, her avatar even going crazy.

The projection looked pissed, so I don't doubt she was too.

My dear "girlfriend" was with her.

"I have no idea! Let's just GO!" all our cars sped off.

_He never yelled this way._

_Not since a bunch of older guys bullied me and he kicked their sorry asses._

There was jumbled twitters from everyone.

_Even the old "Crap Cook" came along with Mr. Fro, obviously._

_Seeing as he's the one with the most patience._

Texas was the first to die.

A huge Kane robot, left over from his recent slaughter and downfall, got in his path and he swerved.

He did avoid the robot.

Just to fall in a chasm that Mike and I joked about it for years since we were kids.

_That it never ended._

_We were wrong._

We knew we were when we saw Texas' car explode.

Only a single scream was heard before he died by the combustion of his car.

_Everyone but Mike stopped to mourn._

_He kept speeding by, not stopping._

I remember numbly yelling at him to stop and turn around.

_That our friend JUST died._

His expression was a cross between fear and anger.

_Fear of realizing his friend had just died and of suffering the same fate._

_Anger of knowing there wasn't any way he could've stopped it._

"If we stop, we die."

I was about to yell something in defense when the robot came alive.

I turned around, we were miles ahead but I could still see.

The robot tore Julie's head from her neck, crushing it like a grape.

_I felt nauseous._

It threw her body and (the remains of her) head in the chasm with Texas.

It's voice was like Kane's, with Kane's "intelligence" and memories stored in it's "brain".

It's voice resonated, "Die with your friends. Since you chose them over your own FATHER!"

_Kane's last creation._

_His final revenge._

He threw my "girlfriend" down with her.

_You could practically hear her neck snap as she hit the bottom._

_Two left, frozen in fear._

_Mike kept driving._

_He knew what was happening._

_He didn't slow, or go faster._

_Just kept driving._

The remaining cook and mechanic finally got in the car and drove away.

It blew up seconds after starting.

The robot had implanted a bomb.

**_Damn him._**

**_Damn him to hell!_**

I got up and climbed through the sunroof, yelling at Mike.

"Keep steady!"

I knew he nodded, _I didn't have to look_.

I sat and blasted our new toy.

_A souped-up bazooka._

I yelled at the top of my lungs, my throat feeling as if it was torn.

"How dare you!"

I shot it once.

_That's all it took._

It fell into the chasm and exploded.

Burning all the Burners to dust.

_Ironic, isn't it?_

We kept driving until we got to a cliff.

We laid on the hood of the car and cried in each other's arms.

_No hate was left._

_Only sorrow..._

**XxXx**

_No remains were found at the sight._

_Not even of the robot or cars._

_Everything forgotten by everyone but two._

**_Mike and I._**

**_Hey, gguuuyyyyzzz, this is the Burner's deaths, as requested, in detail. I'm sorry to say that I enjoyed writing their deaths. That's a lie, no, I'm not. I only watch the show for Mike and Chuck anyway. I was going to write the Burner's deaths in BBIIIIIGGG detail but 1. Most people wouldn't care and I'd be wasting my time 2. I'd have to up the rating to M. Yeah, I'd be that graphic. and it would probably get removed my anyway. 3. I'd have WAAAYYY too much fun killing them and I'd get carried away, like now lol So. Here's there deaths! Leave me stuff! :D (Btw, I dont care about the other people, which is why I kinda forgot most of their names xD But at least I made up for it a bit.) Anyway, REVIEW so I can improve/ know ya care~!_**


	4. Vulnerable

Mike's pupils flicks back and forth, watching me.

My tears no longer fell but my cheek still felt wet.

He put his hands on my legs, gripping them.

His eyes staring into mine.

His jaw was set and he looked emotionless.

"It wasn't your fault, you know."

I felt tingling spread out from my spine, outward.

"But I could've-" I interrupted shakily.

He interrupts me, biting on his teeth, hissing out three words.

"Shut up, Chuck."

He is never cross with me, and the shock makes me unable to speak.

"If I had turned around we would have died."

I felt my throat tighten, "I could've ran back! You would be gone and OK!"

He moved his hands that steadied himself and pounded his fists roughly on the table.

"No! Because I would've gone back for you!"

He sways and falls backwards, falling on the ground.

He sits up and puts his palm to his forehead, "I would've gone back..."

I feel anger boil in me, "Mike! Really?! You'd go back for me but not the others?!"

He stands quickly and grabs me by the collar with one hand.

"Of course!"

I see tears streaming down his face, dried ones with them.

"Idiot..." he says letting go of my shirt.

I jump off the counter and hug him.

"I'm sorry, Mikey." I say, letting go of him.

He laughs out a bit and wipes his tears, going in the living room.

I sit next to him and he stares blankly at my old tv, which is still off.

I wrap my arm around his shoulder, "I miss them too."

"Can I have a beer?" He asks simply.

He must be sober again.

"Sure thing."

I bring over a twelve pack and he smiles at me.

"God, I love you, man."

I smile, _stupid Chilton with his dumb drinking problem._


	5. First Drinks

He finished 7 beers, more beers than the night before.

He was buzzed, not yet drunk.

He smiled goofily at me, yaking on and on about our lives together.

Then he got quiet once he hit our seventh grade year.

_He recalled the first day we drank together._

"Remember on the night we got drunk the first time?"

"We passed out in that factory near the river, right?"

He smiled nostalgically, "Yeah."

"I don't remember much after that, though."

"How much do you remember, then?"

* * *

**_I remember sneaking beer from our parents and hiding in a small corner of the factory._**

**_The rust was evident on every metal wall and had a heavy stench._**

**_We had to close our noses, at first, to block out the rancid smell._**

**_About ten minutes after settling in, we counted the stock of Budweiser._**

**_We had eight._**

**_Four per house._**

**_He opened the can and it broke the silence with a crunch._**

**_He handed it to me and I took a big slug._**

**_I could feel my face twist along with my stomach._**

**_"It tastes funny."_**

**_"No shit, Chuckles, it's not Fruit Punch."_**

**_I laughed, "Then try it, Hotshot."_**

**_He drank the rest of the can in a single gulp, like it was water, and crunched it underfoot._**

**_"Tastes like horse piss." He snorted._**

**_"Smells like it too." I added, laughing._**

**_By this point we both passed out a few minutes later._**

**_I may have woken up but I don't remember._**

**_The next day we got up, went to the industrial park and stayed there all day._**

* * *

Mike looks at me with a broken expression.

"You don't remember waking up?"

"No." I said, scratching the back of my head.

He frowned, "I guess that figures."

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

_He was beginning to scare me. _

_What is **up** with Mike?_


	6. Life, Taken for Granted

"Chuck." Mike said flatly.  
_Emotionlessly._  
"Yeah?" I asked wearily.  
"Do you want to know what happened that night?"  
I swallowed nervously and let my curiosity get the better of me.  
"Tell me. Don't leave anything out, either, no matter how bad."  
The second I said that, he took a preparatory breath.  
I, somehow, knew _this wasn't something that was normal for Mike._  
_Being at a loss for words._  
_There's a reason I forgot that night._  
_And, by the way Mike is looking at me now, with regret and pain..._  
_It was, apparently, his fault._  
_Now, I'm starting to wonder if I really want to know what happened that night._

* * *

_**xXxX Flashback(Mike's POV/retelling) XxXx**_

_**We drank the beers and he passed out immediately.**_  
_**After laughing softly at him for a while, I leaned my head on his and fell asleep.**_  
_**I woke up and looked out a hole in the metal siding of the wall beside us.**_  
_**I could see the water, I wanted to swim.**_  
_**I needed to clear my head.**_  
_**I walked closer to the banks, leaving Chuck behind to sleep some more.**_  
_**The water rushed onto my toes.**_  
_**It was freezing.**_  
_**I took of my shirt and pants, leaving on my boxers.**_  
_**The wind was almost cold but not enough to give me a chill.**_  
_**I smiled to myself and swam in to the middle of the water.**_  
_**I started floating on my back, staring at the sky.**_  
_**I don't know when I started hearing the yelling.**_  
_**Or the screaming.**_  
_**All I know is within seconds, I heard loud splashes coming towards me.**_  
_**Then they just stopped.**_  
_**Then I heard my name...**_  
_**"Mike! Miiiikkkkeee!"**_  
_**Chuck's voice.**_  
_**I swam over as fast as I could and when I got to him, he had starting sinking.**_

_**Drowning.**_

_**I dove under and held my eyes open.**_  
_**Trying to find him in the darkness of the water.**_  
_**He let out a final breath of bubbles and I saw his hand.**_  
_**Reaching up for mine.**_  
_**I pulled him up by his wrist, into my arms.**_  
_**I got us above water and he began shivering against me.**_

_**Choking.**_

_**I pulled Chuck onto shore and laid him down.**_  
_**The second I did, I collapsed next to him as he coughed out the water.**_  
_**"What the hell were you thinking, Chuck?" I asked between heavy breaths.**_  
_**"I thought something was wrong. I yelled and you didn't respond, so I went in after you."**_  
_**I laugh, almost wryly.**_  
_**"Just like you, Chuckles, always trying to save people who don't need saving."**_  
_**"Yeah, and you ended up saving me." he said softly.**_  
_**I hadn't thought of it that way.**_  
_**I'd saved my best friend's life.**_  
_**"You're gonna have to pay me back somehow." I teased.**_  
_**He brushed the wet hair, that stuck to his face, out of his eyes.**_  
_**"I know." He sounded begrudging and broody.**_  
_**"What are you willing to do? The most embarrassing, grossest thing you can do."**_  
_**I smile at my words, he cringes.**_  
_**"Well, I did see this one thing. And it's pretty gross."**_  
_**He paused, judging his words.**_  
_**"And it'd be really embarrassing for me."**_  
_**I laugh, "Perfect, then."**_  
_**"But the thing is, you may think of me differently."**_  
_**"How?" I ask, generally confused.**_  
_**"Can you just close your eyes or something? I can't do it with you staring at me."**_  
_**I humor him and close my eyes.**_  
_**I hear him stand, the small droplets falling from his boxers making audible noise on the smooth rocks under us.**_  
_**I feel confusion in the back of my mind as I feel one of his palms cupping my cheek.**_  
_**I feel his breath on my face.**_  
_**The water dripping off his body and onto mine.**_  
_**Then, I feel him kiss me.**_  
_**After a few seconds he stops and tries to get up.**_  
_**I open my eyes and grab his wrist, smirking.**_  
_**"I don't think you've been embarrassed enough yet, Chuckles."**_  
_**His red face turns redder as he leans down again.**_  
_**When he kisses again, I instinctively put my hand on his lower back and bring him closer.**_  
_**I kiss him deeper and then we have to stop to breathe.**_  
_**I lean my forehead against his and smile.**_  
_**"Feel the embarrassment, Chucky Boy?"**_  
_**He nods fervently, as if saying OOOOOHHH yeah, definitely.**_  
_**He gets off of me and lays next to me.**_  
_**I pull him closer and hug him tight against my chest.**_  
_**"For the record, Chuck, you're the best kisser by far, that I know of."**_  
_**"Better than Sara Walmarx?"**_  
_**I laugh as he lays his head on my chest.**_  
_**"Way better." I smile, playing with his hair as he falls asleep.**_  
_**He was the only person I trusted.**_  
_**The only person I knew, who I would gladly let steal my first kiss away.**_  
_**Because he did.**_  
_**And, I, his.**_


	7. Tragedy of Love Loss

_**Chuck's POV**_

I couldn't help but stare as he told me the story.  
As soon as he finished, I felt my cheeks redden.  
_Why would I forget something like that?_  
"How did you even know?" I said softly.  
"Know what?" That I hadn't kissed anyone.  
"You told me everything. I told you everything too."  
He sighed, his smile now faded away.  
"The only reason I didn't bring it up again was because,"  
He stopped, closing his eyes.  
"I thought you remembered."  
I suddenly get defensive.  
"Apparently not."  
"Why are you so upset about this?" His voice shook, only slightly.  
I felt anger rise inside me.  
"Oh, I don't know! Maybe because my best friend kissed me and I chose to forget!"  
I took an angry huff, yelling again, "And I don't even know WHY I forgot!"  
He frowned, "I think I know why..."

_**XxXxMike's POV/retellingXxXx**_

_**We woke up and I put on my clothes.**_  
_**His back facing me, he put on his.**_  
_**We were both scared of talking.**_  
_**Looking at each other.**_  
_**I think we were scared to touch each other again.**_  
_**To look at each other, even.**_  
_**We did something most deem forbidden.**_  
_**I smiled, but I didn't care.**_  
_**I hugged Chuck from behind and he blushed.**_  
_**He leaned onto me and I hugged him close.**_  
_**"Chucky," I whispered in his ear.**_  
_**"Yeah?" he smiled.**_  
_**"Wanna go to the Industrial Park? We can hang out in the pits."**_  
_**He nodded.**_  
_**I held his hand and intertwined my fingers in his.**_  
_**Things finally clicked. **_  
_**We walked the backroads, so we wouldn't be seen.**_  
_**I guess we, subconsciously, both didn't want anyone to know yet.**_  
_**Of what, I never understood.**_  
_**I guess to know we liked another guy.**_  
_**Most people would call us horrible things.**_  
_**Things that would make Chucky cry.**_  
_**Then I would have to kick some ass.**_  
_**As we got into a large concrete pipe we laid down beside each other.**_  
_**This was normal for us, minus the hand-holding and occasional kisses.**_  
_**Then, out of nowhere, we were being hauled up by a crane.**_  
_**The place was supposed to be abandoned!**_  
_**I grabbed Chuck and pulled him close. **_  
_**It began to tilt and we fell out backwards.**_  
_**I shielded him and I remember falling.**_  
_**Only worrying about Chuck.**_  
_**Then I remember a hard rock hitting the back of my head and I blacked out.**_  
_**I woke up and they told me I'd been in a coma for a week.**_  
_**I'd almost had a severe skull fracture.**_  
_**They said Chuck had severe mental trauma from seeing me get hurt.**_  
_**He must have suppressed the memory due to the mental toll it took on him.**_  
_**I visited him every day after I woke up.**_  
_**He didn't act affectionate towards me. **_  
_**He was distant and it hurt me to see. **_  
_**I just assumed he didn't want to be with me.**_  
_**So I tried to let it go.**_  
_**I never did, but I tried my best.**_  
_**Look where it's gotten me.**_

* * *

_**So! What do you guys think!? **_

_**P.S! I'm going to let you have a say in their fate.  
**_

_**PM me for details!  
**_


	8. Disappearing Storms

**Chuck's POV**

I began to feel a throbbing headache.

_Memories came in flashes._

_I remembered what he was talking about._

**_When we fell._**

**_He hit his head._**

**_I carried him on my back to the hospital._**

**_All 5 miles there, I ran with him on my back._**

**_I had never felt so weak in my life._**

**_I felt like I was losing what I loved most._**

_What I..._

_Loved most?_

**_I loved Mike?_**

I looked in his eyes, swimming with tears.

He kept wiping them on his sleeve.

_Like a small child, trying to seem strong._

_Mike was a broken kid on the inside._

_We both were._

**_Are._**

_And he loves me._

**_And I think I love him._**

I grab his hand and pet it soothingly.

He looks at me and I begin getting lost in his eyes.

_The eyes that I've always loved._

_Eyes like a storm._

_Dry and barren until the refreshing rain falls._

_When the corner of his eyes crinkle when he laughs._

_His smile._

_The goofy smile he wears when watching crappy tv._

_The smile that can so easily disappear._

**_I don't want him to ever be sad again._**

**_Never again.  
_**


	9. Boundaries

**Chuck's POV**

I feel myself smile as I scoot closer to him.

_He doesn't notice._

I almost frown at that but put my hands on his knees.

"Mike." I say calmly.

He looks at me, for the first time, he looks scared.

I lean closer and brush my lips against his briefly, my eyes open.

I watch his expression change to shock.

I lean in again, _slower this time_, and he kisses back.

The second he does, my eyes drift closed.

He uses a hand to grab my hip, he pulls me closer.

He begins digging his fingers too deep into the skin.

Out of pain, I fall forward and into his lap.

I look up at him and he has a smug smile on his face.

_Damn Chilton. _

I bite his lip, "Jerk."*

"Bitch."* he smirks in response, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"I love you." I say softly, feeling free as I do.

"I love you too." I realized he stopped crying and hugged me close.

I fell asleep in his arms.

_I've never been happier._

_And, from that look he gives me when I'm not looking, neither has he._

* * *

_**AN:**_

_**HHEEEYYY! Sorry for the crap ending! Hope you liked it! LOVE YOU GGUUUYYYSSSS!**_

_***Yes, I made a Winchester Brothers reference in a Motorcity fic. SUPERNATURAL FTW!  
**_

_**(Sorry, been on a Dastiel hype lately xD)  
**_


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